I am in a foul mood today. I have screamed at my son for doing things I normally may have just used my “mom” tone on. I have screamed at the dog. I could cry. I am crying. It’s just hard. I ate a piece of cake. I know, tomorrow is a new day. I have the calories. But I ate it because I was stressed, not because I wanted it. I had originally went into the freezer to defrost a chicken nugget. I saw the cake and it was as if all my months of being good did not exist and I just shoved it in my mouth. The good thing was I was able to stop myself after a few bites and fed the rest to the dogs. The bad thing is it did not make me sick.
Ok, I’m tired because I didn’t get enough sleep last night. My son is trying to adjust to not having school everyday right now. The dog is a puppy. Other stressful things going on which I don’t want to get into but I guess it is all just overwhelming when I have to spend so much time focusing on making sure I get enough protein, take all my meds, drink all my water and trying to figure out who this new me who is emerging under all of this fat.